Wow, It’s Been a More than a Year

I still feel terrible.

I feel so guilty about everything. I see her in every thing I do, and I still think she’ll be there at some point. Then, I KNOW that she won’t. I’ll remember the time she was there. I’ll KNOW that she won’t be there again.

I was a better person with her. She made me better. I’m not better now.

I wish I’d been better for her. I wish I had another opportunity to be there for her. I love her so much, and I’m so sad that I don’t know if she’s still around in some form. I don’t believe in the Judaeo Christian God. But that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t believe that she still exists somehow.

I hope she is in a better place. I’m not.